Monthly Archives: April 2011

A Foggy Day in Georgetown.

I had no intention of writing about cupcakes today.

Really, I didn’t.

But it’s already been an impossible week- and today is only Wednesday. I promised myself two months ago, when this story happened, that I’d save it to tell on a day when I needed something wonderful to remember out loud. After all, the stories that you savor in your mind-those are the ones that are most worth writing down.

And this-this was just the most marvelous day.

A week and a half before I flew back to Africa, a rainy Sunday afternoon found Kellan and I in Georgetown. Georgetown is one of the more charming places aux Etats-Unis-if I couldn’t have a foggy day in London Town, this was certainly the next best place to spend a wet, watercolor day! As we strolled down M street with our umbrella, looking in each new store window felt like opening one Christmas gift after another. Meticulously staged window displays boasted elegant, couture designs from Milan and Paris. There was a gourmet food shoppe full of pretentious sounding wines and exotic looking flowers that made me wonder what sort of colorless, flowerless existence I’d been leading for 23 pathetic years. Lilies and gardenias were neighbored by barrels of long, golden brown baguettes  meant to be paired with cheeses that I’d never even heard of [this from the girl that grew up in Europe!], and a long glass case was home to enough Swiss chocolate truffles to make my head spin. And just as we’d said “Auf Wiedersehen” to the truffles, we stumbled upon a musty bookstore with gloriously overstuffed armchairs begging for Dostoyevsky and an endless, cloudy afternoon of reading. [And really, is there any better way to spend a rainy Sunday?] Just around the corner, a quaint little French café served each steaming latte with leaves and flowers carefully etched into the espresso while the strains of Debussy echoed softly in the background. Cezanne and Degas graced the walls, and indeed, I was quickly certain that if I closed my eyes for the briefest moment, I would open them and find myself sitting in a Parisian café sipping a chocolat chaud by the Seine. Everything was simply perfect to me.

And then, there were the cupcakes.

Cupcakes: the “it” dessert of our life and times. [At least this week!] Who would have thought? But as Kellan pointed out with a rather resigned grin and only the slightest hint of an eye-roll, if you charge five dollars for a cute little cupcake and put it in a pretty pink box, unsuspecting women like me will bite every time.

Especially if we’re biting into a dreamy cream cheese, Valrhona chocolate mint piece of heaven wrapped in a bow. Be still, my beating heart.

In Georgetown Cupcake! ...ignore the beaming brunette on the right.

In college, my friends and I had occasionally watched TLC’s “Georgetown Cupcake” show, and it had long been a quiet dream of mine to visit the acclaimed bakery itself . [Dream big, friends.] The sheer absurdity of that charming little cupcake shop on M Street is that there’s always a line hours long wrapped around the block. And who wants to stand in line for hours for a little bit of flour and water?

Guilty. So, very guilty.

That afternoon, Kellan and I rushed past Georgetown Cupcakes-and an irrepressible, delighted gasp escaped before I could help it. Even from the window I could see tiered cake platters stacked high with the most perfect cupcakes I’d ever seen-each garnished with that garish “signature swirl” I’d been daydreaming about for years. Even in the misty rain, there was a half hour line of eager people braving the cold in hopes of realizing their Chocolate Peanut Butter cupcake dreams.  Or perhaps they were waiting for the Irish Cream. Or the Salted Caramel. Or the Lava Fudge. But with great expectation, they were all excitedly waiting.

Honestly, I never would have been that girl. That girl that makes her boyfriend spend half an hour in the freezing rain for an overpriced cupcake? Those girls are horrid.

But much to my [ecstatic!] chagrin, my sweet boyfriend insisted that we join the ranks of the wet and impractical, and stand in line for a Mint Cookies and Cream cupcake.

My heart skipped a beat. My heart skipped a lot of beats. It does that around him.

Determined to prove a point [what exactly, I am not entirely certain], I protested vehemently. I told him that I couldn’t care less about a dumb cupcake-that  for that much money, we could make a whole cake at home. Or nine. I mocked the masses pitifully standing in line in the rain-pointing my little nose in the air and reveling in my newfound sense of faux-practicality.

Gloriously, Kellan knows me much too well to believe for a second that I’m even slightly practical, and before I could say “White Chocolate Peppermint” we had become the last two people in line. I was positively elated-there was a six year old little girl with her Mom standing in front of us, and it was a toss-up as to which one of us was more excited! After a very wet half hour, we finally made it inside-and my wide eyes took in the rows of flawless cupcakes with all of the pent up glee of a four year old on Christmas morning. It was utterly impossible to pick-and so we decided to embrace the impractical and try every kind of chocolate cupcake they had. [After all, why bother with any other kind?] And there we sat-with our box of cupcakes and steaming mugs of coffee, wet and deliriously happy as the rain pelted the window overlooking M Street.

Well, I was deliriously happy. But while Georgetown Cupcake was the culmination of all my cupcake hopes and dreams, I am almost certain that Kellan had never given cupcakes any thought at all. [Imagine that.] I hope he loved it, though-because I recently discovered that their menu changes every month…

…and I have yet to try the Chocolate Hazelnut. :)

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Filed under Joy, My favorite people

Of What It Means To Be Forgiven.

God does not forgive sin.

At least, not in the way that we so casually fling the word about. Living in a Muslim country has taught me that the Evangelical Christian church has more in common with Islam than we ought to be comfortable with-particularly in the way that we use the word “forgive”. Islamic doctrine teaches that at the end of a Muslim’s life, Allah weighs his good and bad deeds on a scale and then makes an arbitrary decision as to whether or not to “forgive” that particular individual. For Allah to “forgive” a Muslim means that he has decided to let the offense go. He’s sliding sin under the cosmic rug-deciding that it’s okay, and he’s not going to do anything about it. If a Muslim is “forgiven”, sin quietly slips away and simply goes unpunished. 

When we talk about God forgiving sin, we’re often implying that He does much the same thing. But a holy, just God can’t do that. A God that is both perfectly holy and perfectly just cannot tolerate sin and must punish it. And the Bible details exactly how sin must be punished: by death. Not a physical death-but an eternal separation from God [better known as hell].

Crushed under the damning weight of sin, desperate people like you and I find ourselves gently drawn to the only place we have to go: the cross.

When God “forgives” sinners like me, He is not simply choosing to ignore the sin-He’s pouring every ounce of His wrath towards my sin into Jesus, who stands in the gap between me and the holy God that has to met out the just punishment for my cosmic treason. That is how I am forgiven. My forgiveness was costly. It was horrific and bloody-an innocent man that had already been beaten beyond recognition was nailed to a couple planks of wood to die an unimaginable death  in my stead. Nothing was swept under the rug. On the cross, Jesus absorbed the wrath of God on my behalf-and there it was finished.

The cross is the picture of God’s absolute rage against sin-and His relentless love and mercy towards sinners. In sending Jesus to earth to live the perfect life that we could not, and take the punishment for our sin on our behalves, God spoke. God spoke, and what He said is that He loves us and we don’t have to be the way we are. We need no longer be enslaved to the sin that whispers to us every morning when we wake up. We are more sinful and wretched than we ever dared to imagine-but we are more loved than we ever dared hope. We have been ransomed from sin and death-bought back at unfathomable expense. That’s the cross. And when we say that God forgives sin-the cross is what we’re talking about.

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Filed under God's faithfulness, Hope, Islamic theology, Musings

Ashley Elizabeth and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Birthday.

Unspoken rules that govern interactions in polite society dictate the appropriate responses to commonly asked questions. How are you doing? Fine, and you? How do you like my new haircut? It’s simply lovely. Aren’t these scones divine? Heavenly, dear-simply heavenly.

In a world of mimosas and crystal chandeliers, lobster forks and aperitifs, black ties and white gloves, one is expected to smile brightly and offer the appropriate, cheery response to each question posed.

Go ahead. Ask me how my birthday was.

Because the white gloves are off, and I’m here to blow the LID off of polite society. So put your pinkies down and grab a beer-…I’ll even let you drink it out of the bottle this time.

You’ll pardon me if I don’t join you, though. You see, I have salmonella.

Salmonella. And as I’ve learned over the past week, the beast that is salmonella prevents you from eating, drinking, or doing much of anything but writhing in pain on the floor.

It all started last Friday, when I decided to eat lunch on campus. Christy, Michelle and I were in the midst of a busy day of meeting with students, and around one o’clock the insistent rumbling in my stomach forced me to reconcile myself to the unhappy reality that I wasn’t going to make it until dinner time. I needed to find something to eat.

Stage lights fade to black.

But you see, I’d eaten on campus before. We all have-the boys [with their iron stomachs] do it all the time! Without thinking much of it, Christy and I made our way to the nearest [and coincidentally, nicest] campus restaurant, and ordered the exact same chicken dish for lunch.

I didn’t feel very good afterwards-but let’s be honest. I never feel good after I eat food in this country that I didn’t personally cook. [A shocker, given the high standards of cleanliness and food preparation that I’m  certain restaurants in Senegal hold themselves to.]

Ten hours later, however, life had taken a violent turn for the worse. In fact, life had swerved off the road and wrapped itself around a telephone pole-ten hours later found me on my couch in the living room, vomiting profusely into the bucket that Michelle [smart thing that she is] had thought to place beside me. In the dark. Because of course the electricity was off-why wouldn’t it have been?

The next hours were marked by uncontrollable shaking as my body went into shock, vomiting, fever spikes, and several rather panicked calls from Christy to SOS and my Mother. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Except, we couldn’t have lathered a thing if our lives had depended on it. Have I mentioned that the water was off too?

My sweet roommates held my hair, did everything they could to try to keep me hydrated, and woke me up to check my fever every hour on the hour that night. And the next day, and the next night. Concern for my condition escalated as I remained locked in the fetal position on the aforementioned couch, unable to move, barely able to speak, and rapidly starting to resemble one of the Olsen twins more with each passing hour.

The thing about salmonella is, you just have to wait it out. [And what an excellent waiter I am.] My twenty fourth birthday found me miserable, lying on the floor, swearing that I was “finally going to let Africa have me!” and moaning over each new, sweet, well-intentioned Facebook birthday message that urged me to “drink a lot of coffee on your birthday!”

I’d have settled for water.

I am, however, slowly re-introducing the concept of food back into my life. Michelle and Ted had snuck away to a friend’s house to bake chocolate cake and cinnamon rolls [oh, you remember the cinnamon rolls!] for my birthday, and so yesterday in my first display of wise decision making as a twenty four year old, I ate half a cinnamon roll.

I couldn’t help it. I was hungry. I was pitiful. I was…an idiot.

The water was finally turned back on today, so life is looking up in Dakar and it appears that I’ll survive to see another…well, disease, probably. Africa is out to kill me-of this, I am now entirely convinced. But it’s moments like these when a healthy dose of perspective is good and necessary. Because let’s face it-Africa has kicked me when I’m down enough times to teach me that things could always be worse. They could be better. But they could be worse.

And now that I think about it, there’s a rather excellent chance I’ll be able to milk this one for a while…

I think we just found our bright side, kids.

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Filed under My ghetto-fab life, Senegal, Team

Help Me, Emily Post!

Early on in Dakar, I made it clear to my Senegalese friends that no subject was off limits. An innocent victim of cultural ignorance and sheer naiveté, I hadn’t the foggiest idea that over the next two years, I would spend countless hours fielding invasive, intensely personal questions about my love life that Emily Post herself would be unable to handle gracefully.

The baffled expression of sheer horror on a Senegalese woman’s face when I tell her that I’m unmarried is something akin to what I imagine my Mother would look like if I sat her down and told her I’d decided to grow my hair to my feet and become a Moonie.

It doesn’t make sense to the western mind, but in a culture where ten year old girls are betrothed to men that they marry as soon as they hit puberty, a twenty-three year old woman who’s working and unmarried is somewhat of a anomaly. The assumption is that there must be something dreadfully wrong with me-as seen in the pitying looks of Muslim friends that have, in an attempt to rectify my unfortunate marital status, offered to cornrow my hair,  slim me down, dress me up, teach me to cook,  and help me master the subtle art of flirting.

Personally, I think I would be much too irresistible with cornrows. The world is not ready-it simply wouldn’t be fair to the male population at large.

Given that I apparently passed my expiration date years ago, well intentioned friends have sweetly offered to marry me off to their brothers, uncles and cousins. Lucky old maid that I am, I have my pick of the litter! Never mind that I have a boyfriend back home-because goodness, this is an emergency! A select, hopeless few have involuntarily committed me to a life of celibacy, and are of the rather dismal opinion that it’s time for me to buy a pair of overalls, saw off a shotgun, settle into a back-country rocking chair and start picking off pigeons from the porch.

…or the Senegalese equivalent.

Miriam, however, isn’t buying me cats quite yet. As one of the few women I know that is more tolerant of my “alternative lifestyle”, her big question for me this week was not when I’m getting married-but how many babies I want to have.

Help me, Emily Post!

It’s a question that I’m intimately familiar with-and the ramifications of answering it truthfully are always the same. You see, my African counterparts come from families that make Mike and Carol Brady look just lazy. Enormous families are expected and lauded-many of the women I interact with ardently believe that my life will be utterly wasted and devoid of all meaning if I have fewer than seven.

[Hamsters eat their young. I’m not sure how that’s relevant-but it needed to be said.]

I hemmed and hawed for a moment, and without missing a beat that charming girl stared straight into my soul with a startling air of assured finality and proclaimed:

Bon. You will have many twins!

*cricket

many twins?

She was being thoughtful. After all, in Senegal, twins are considered to be good luck! In Ashley’s world, however, twins are considered to guarantee stretch marks and dark circles under ones eyes for no less than five years.

Twins. The very word made my ears bleed.

Miriam, I don’t want twins.

 Yes you do! I will pray for it every day.

 This was about when the color started draining from my face and into my trembling toes.

Miriam, seriously! Don’t pray for that!

With a confused look about her, Miriam paused for the briefest moment before a slow understanding brightened her brown eyes.

Ah bon! I will pray for triplets.

I surrender. Somebody tell me where I can get a shotgun.

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Filed under Cross cultural hilarity, My ghetto-fab life, Senegalese culture, The daily grind

My Lovely Little Sister.

The word “sister” always conjures to mind the “Sisters” song from White Christmas.

One of the most thrilling things to my twelve year old self, upon the discovery that my Mom was pregnant with a girl, was that I would finally have someone to sing that song with!  My brothers were rather thrilled about it as well, given that it meant they had a fighting chance that I would no longer force them to perform it with me.

Their therapist thinks they ought to be coming out of the fetal position any day, now.

In nine days, I’m turning twenty-four. My sweet, twelve year old little sister [who, by the way is still alive, for any of you that are still concerned about this fiasco], snuck a little birthday present in my duffel when I left home several weeks ago.

Which, clearly, I opened and read immediately upon discovery. Patience has never been my strong suit.

My sister. My adorable, precocious, mini-me sister, who sat me down right before I left, comfortingly placed a tiny hand on my shoulder, and explained in all earnest sincerity that if she gets married before I do, I can be her maid of honor.

Dollface.

This from the child that thinks “a good pedicure” is a critical step to readying yourself for international travel.

No idea where she got that one.

The child that without batting an eye, matter-of-factly told the sixth grade boy that professed his undying love for her back in September, to try again in high school.

No idea where that one came from, either.

And this would be the same little girl whose purse is always stuffed to the brim, because you never know when you’re going to need neon glitter glue, a Hello Kitty notepad and no less than eight dollars in nickels.

A girl’s got to be prepared.

My gift was a book that she’d carefully written, illustrated and stapled together. Note the cover-“think pink” is a reference to a song in a fabulous Audrey Hepburn/Fred Astaire movie called Funny Face. While I shudder to think of what Emily has learned about international travel from me, I must say that I have had a marvelous influence on her movie repertoire. [Though I have yet to succeed in convincing her that Gregory Peck is cuter than the Jonas Brothers. I’m good, but I’m not a miracle worker.]

The book goes something like this…

Even though our hair doesn’t always stay in place [Oh, don’t worry. There was a picture of me with crazy, curly hair-presumably to clear up any confusion for those unlucky readers that haven’t seen me first thing when I roll out of bed. Serendipity can be unkind.]

Even though we can and will be picky… [A girl's got to have standards, after all.]

Even though we may not be able to find something to wear [Illustrated by hangers holding both a ball gown and a t-shirt. I imagine that she was going for a sort of “Ladies who lunch” vibe.]

Even though we may get bord as heck…[I’m maintaining the original spelling to preserve the authenticity of the book.]

Even though we may travel away from each other [She drew a globe. Sniff sniff. Sob. Wail!]

Even though we may be too busy to be with each other…[illustrated by a blank “To Do” list.]

And even though we may fight…[I confess, I did once steal her glitter glue.]

Your [authenticity!] still my awesome, lovely big sister and I’m your little sister

 

…and I LOVE YOU!

 

Happy B-Day Ashley! I love you so, so, so, so, so much! I hope your wishes come true!


Love,

Emily

I love her so, so, so, so, so much too. When it comes to love, go big or go home.

Even when your hair doesn’t always stay in place.

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Filed under Christmas, Family, Home